Changes

It’s a time of transition and change around the world and personally. We have all been faced with changing our paths . I flew home for Christmas from the Philippines via China and shortly after Coronavirus hit. A pandemic that is going to change the world of travel forever. I came home and soon after had to go into isolation. Alone in a small but beautiful box space I was left with nothing but my thoughts. Whenever I leave the states for an extended period of time I come home and feel reverse culture shock. It’s a difficult adjustment time. With all the time in isolation having to feel my emotions I was able to see that my attachment to how I want my relationships to be with my family, my culture, my country causes me a feeling of loneliness and disconnect. To be active and create change I need to let go of my expectation and attachment to how I want it to be. To evolve I need to continue on my Path of trying to understand the world and my place in it.

This path has led me to the Navajo Nation. I arrived as the new Public Health Nurse in an isolated area of the Navajo Nation at peak of the Covid 19 virus. This virus has hit the Navajo Nation hard. America’s addiction to apathy is being revealed by this virus. Our history is in our face to not see it is a choice some are making. The death toll of those who have been disenfranchised throughout American history are dying at higher rates. Our society has been built so that a few privileged white Americans have health and wealth at the expense of those who do not. Yes people of color have higher rates of hypertension and diabetes that is true but we need to look at our history to understand why. As I make my daily calls to the Covid ICU’s in Arizona and New Mexico I’m hearing blame of the Navajo for this virus. As the nurses on the line try to get me to collaborate with them. In trying to redirect the conversation to an understanding that wealth is health .Then the conversation is quickly redirected not wanting to go further in the subject. With a strong judgmental tone what about alcoholism of the Navajo. I see it as the same issue of unjustified blame. I come from a family of alcoholics. The only difference is they aren’t forced to drink hand sanitizer to meet their addictive needs. They feed their addictions with top shelf booze, micro brew and fine wine. When they pass out they have a bed in a beautiful home. Alcoholism is everywhere, it’s just more visible if you are homeless. Let’s stop the blame of those who have had no power. For those with power lets stop the history of apathy and take on the responsibility of our history that created our privilege at the expense of others.

My personal challenge is to stay unattached to my emotions so that can grow in a greater understanding of the world we all share.

La Paz México

Casandra and I jumped on a small boat in the bay of Cortez to be surrounded by gigantic gray whales. I was hoping to have the opportunity to have one come along the boat to be pet. But in truth when one hit the engine it was a little scary.

The whale sharks gentle calm energy creates a tranquil environment under the sea.

Peaceful nature experience swimming with these beautiful sharks

Mother and daughter experiences one of many and many more to come.

Home for the holidays.

I came home on Christmas after traveling for over a year. Charyl hosted a beautiful Christmas

Monica and I share a birthday and family. Friends since birth.

Spending time with family visiting Chad enjoying his peaceful family and home

Tarot card night at Maria’s with her family. Thanks Molly you created a heart opening environment.

Spending time in Los Angeles with your old friends in a beautiful setting. There’s nothing like reconnecting with old friends.

Philippines

Having Amaya join me on this adventure means so very much to me. We had an epic trip for her 30th birthday. My girls are woman but I’m still their mom and I love it.

Snorkeling with the sardines was a beautiful ocean experience. One of those wonders of nature.

Yes I jumped off the cliff that was over 40 feet. I started off all confident with my arms in the air. Then all of a sudden I thought to myself your a 54 year old woman with all these young people, “what the fuck do you think your doing?” So fear presented its self. I pulled my arms down and looked at the water just as I hit it. Ouch I hit my chest and got a water enema and a big ranching wedgy. That was all in the first jump. I kept jumping, sliding, and swinging into the water all day having a great time. I’m so glad I did it even if my chest has been hurting me ever since.

This nature hat was passed forward to me and I passed it forward to the local kids doing laundry with their families on the river. Their smiles and laughter with the leaf hat brought both Amaya and I great joy.

Waterfalls, rivers, beaches and lots of fun.

Fishy pedicure Amaya had a hard time staying still as the fish eat off all the dead skin.

We had one of the only good meals during our trip to the Philippines looking at this majestic tree. The food is like going back in time to 1970 American processed food. Fish is everywhere but we couldn’t seem to get a whole fresh fish easily. We did have dried salted fish with breakfast. The cream sauce tasted likeCampbell’s cream of mushroom soup Maybe it has to do with the American military history in the Philippines. I’m looking forward to the fresh Bay Area coffee foodie food and wine.

Amaya has just turned 30 and I’m going to be 55 this month. We have developed an adult relationship BUT every now and then the mother daughter thing shows up. Riding the rented scooter is a good example I’m continually annoying her telling her to slow down and she is telling me I’m going to slow.

Getting shelter from the tropical rain.

Merry Christmas

Last full moon of the decade. A moment of pause what a decade it has been for me. In 2010 my mom died and I divorced. Then my father died two years ago. In this decade I have also gone through menopause. I have mourned all of this and come out of the darkness wiser and stronger.

Green flash

“It’s said that once you’ve seen a green flash, you’ll never again go wrong in matters of the heart.”

On my journey I have been trying to be awake and aware of signs from the universe. Last night as I swam in the crystal blue clear warm water while the sun was setting. I saw the green flash just after the sun passed below the horizon of the sea. These experiences of awe are what living and love is all about.

Plastic

There are times in my travels that the pollution really gets to me. Progress isn’t the way to go. It’s destructive. The worlds trash is piling up on island shores around the world. The consumer society just takes and dumps.

Indonesia

After being a busy tourist in Vietnam it was time for me to chill. And I found the perfect island life for just being. Gili Air has no cars only bikes, horse and buggy and good old walking. Life on Gili Air is all about sunrises, sunsets and moon gazing over the sea. Hammocks and swings are at the shoreline inviting one to chill out after snorkeling through the coral reef with sea turtles. I found a hut near the beach with a beautiful salt water pool. I wake up to a strong cup of Indonesia coffee. I’m doing water and yin yoga to add to the slow down life. Right away I found a wonderful community of friends consisting of locals and westerners living on the island. Elizabeth an American woman from Kentucky has become not only a great friend but an inspiration. She stayed with me for a week while in need of a good friend. We all meet those we are meant to meet along this path. Elizabeth and I hit it off the first day when we both realized that we had both lived in Kenya for a bit. I’m not sure about my next move forward but I am sure that I have manifested a life that is filled with all my dreams.

Butterfly

The butterfly has been a big part of my journey the past few years. She has shown herself to me in many significant ways on this spiritual path. I have looked and tried to open up to her calling. The other day during meditation it was clear. The butterfly effect small inter-reaction, of love, kindness, and compassion as moving on earth create change with hope, endurance and gentle beauty. I’ll continue to be open to the gentle whispers she gives me along the way.

Friends along the way

It’s time to reflect on my time traveling with Ingra. I first noticed her when we were on the way to the Buddhist monastery. She was in the front seat with your headphones Dancing to her tunes. I love it when I see people enjoy their music. We talked as we walked up to the monastery in the beautiful mountains of Thailand. Once we got there, We had a choice to be silent or not I chose silence. For the next 10 days I broke my silence once a day to say hi to Ingra, she always responded hello beautiful. Ingra is glowing with Excitement. I kept my silence on the other side of the room but noticed her talking and laughing with so many different people. I really enjoyed my 10 days of silence and going inward. Although I did struggle with the institutionalization and the hierarchy of the men. I am on a spiritual journey but mine is mine. I explore with an open mind and an open heart but don’t always connect to what others connect to.The last day I broke my silence and hung out with Ingra and the friends she had made. It was a lot of fun. Ping and Pon the two full-time volunteers at the monastery loaned us their car as we left to go to a festival nearby. A group of us hopped in the truck and explored the area near by. That was the beginning of Ingra, David and I traveling together. We ended up traveling to the festival, Pia and then Chiangmai together. David told me that I had a calming energy and balanced out Ingra’s ecstatic energy. Ingra was very high energy she talked a lot about being awaken and transcending. I knew I needed to introduce Ingra to Eva who I had meet in Pia. They both talked about being awaked all the time. I also knew I wanted to introduce David to the expats from the UK. After introducing everyone a group of us went to Chiang Mai and had a great time going out dancing. Next Eva, Ingra and I travel together to Vietnam. Ingra kept accusing Eva of being judge-mental and Eva kept accusing Ingra of being stuck in her ego. They both were speaking the truth as far as I could see. The two of them talked to Jesus and other spirits throughout the trip. Eva went back to Pia and Ingra and I moved on to explore Vietnam. I spent the next few weeks with Ingra. It was a challenge but also a lot of fun. Ingra is ex military African-American from Texas she is very conservative she voted for Trump. She ignores all news and political awareness. She spent many years in a very dark place with PTSD. Within the past year she awakened due to reading a book called conversations with God. She continuously speaks about her mission of awakening others. She lives within herself. Traveling with Ingra was a challenge. She has a mental health history and has stopped taking her cardiac and Psychiatric meds. I was never sure what was going on with her. She often seemed a bit manic. I called her a robot because she could go days without sleeping. At times when she spoke it sounded like she felt she was the second coming. Other times she spoke so clearly and powerful. That I truly believed in her spirit. Maybe it’s a little of both why not. One night she woke up saying Gaia was in her and she felt her pain and suffering. Then she spoke in what she called light language. This went on all night her crying for the suffering of Gaia and speaking to her. I struggled with this due to Ingra’s actions toward Gaia. I witnessed her throw her cigarette buts on the street. She used plastic without a second thought. She bought things with a materialistic passion. She continues to support Trump saying he is good for business. She is unwilling to become aware of the science of the environmental crisis. This disconnection made me worried she was having a psychiatric breakdown. But I don’t know and I’ll never know what was going on inside Ingra her spiritual path is hers not mine. What I do know is we had a lot of fun and we experienced a friendship with someone very different then ourselves.

Thailand and Vietnam

I arrived to Bangkok from Ethiopia tiered and dirty. I spent the first day sleeping. The second night I went to meet Billy at his restaurants. We drank, eat and talked about family and old times. I thought about staying in Bangkok to teach English but after a few days I realized the city wasn’t for me.

I ended up in Pia and loved it. It has a great energy it’s in the mountains with lots of rice fields. I meet a fun group guys to enjoy some beers and lots of laughter with.

Then I ended up at Wat Tam Wua a Buddhist monastery for a 10 day vipassana meditation.

As I was leaving the monastery I meet a group of people I ended up traveling with.

The three of us David, Ingra and I had a great energy together. Three opposites Balancing it all out.

My awaked travel buddies Ingra and Eva.

Hello Vietnam

I traveled with Ingra through Vietnam. It was a lot of fun we drank a lot of beer and stayed out until 4!am a few times. We moved around being tourist. Now I’m writing this in Indonesia on a small Island Gili Air where I’m staying and just chilling .